Adjustment Tips for Parents & Families

Considerations for parents and families of students adjusting to school

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It can be helpful for some families to consider their child as an emerging young adult experiencing an increased sense of personal freedom as they adjust to college. How might it serve as a source of growth? What challenges might arise with their newfound sense of freedom?

Tips for preparing for this change:

• Consider what previous increases in freedom have looked like. Did the transition from middle to high school allow for them to safely take on new responsibilities and have new experiences? Or did they struggle with finding their groove and establishing balanced routines?
• What will communication with your young adult look like as they transition to life outside of the home? Weekly phone calls? Daily text check-ins? What will holidays and semester breaks look like for your family?
• How are you (as a parent) taking care of yourself amidst changes in your relationship with your child? How are you coping as you sit with potentially new feelings of loneliness, uncertainty, fear, pride, or excitement?

Supporting your young adult in setting reasonable expectations for college will look different for different families, as culture plays a large role in this process. Adjusting expectations over time might be necessary.

Here are some questions to consider with your young adult:

• Are they hoping that their roommate will become a close friend? Or are they hoping to just be acquaintances?
• How involved do they want you to be in their academic and social lives?
• What are their expectations for dating? What are your expectations for them as they navigate the prospect of dating?
• Are they anticipating keeping in touch with their friends from home while they make new friends at school?
• Financially, how dependent will they be on you? To what degree will they be responsible for their own budget? How can you support your young adult in working toward financial wellness?

For many people, college is the first time they experience burnout, which is mental, emotional, and physical exhaustion caused by managing stress for an extensive period of time. It can lead to one feeling tired, helpless, hopeless, and cynical.

In addition to seeking help from the Personal Counseling Center, you can talk to your young adult about ways to avoid burnout, such as:

• Setting clear boundaries between work and leisure
• Building comfort with asking for help
• Identifying personal values (e.g., Why is it that you work? What importance do you associate with achieving certain grades?)
• Finding authentic sources of joy

It is very likely that Providence College’s campus and community will not exactly reflect the community in which your child was raised. There might be much more or much less racial, ethnic, socioeconomic, spiritual, body, and age diversity than what your child experienced in their home community.

You may want to consider the following:

• How comfortable is your young adult with having conversations with people who hold different identities than they hold?
• Are there ways that you can model respect, understanding, and trust across differences for your young adult to observe?
• How might being in a different environment trigger homesickness for your young adult?
• What opportunities are there for your young adult to find belonging in certain communities in which they have yearned for connection?

Additional resources at the Personal Counseling Center

• Individual therapy options
• Support groups
• Mindfulness/Relaxation Room
• Drop in pet therapy support

Contact Information

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Additional 24/7 off-campus Resources